I Have a Problem and it is Called "Time Travel": The Michael Nesmith Edition

Who knew that two of my obsessions would intersect so neatly? Some time ago, Michael Nesmith co-wrote and produced a movie called Timerider. I vaguely remember this movie in my time travel hunts but I ignored it for the most part. Its about a dirt bike racer named Lyle Swann who crosses paths with a government experiment on time travel and ends up in 1877. Not exactly the kind of time travel movie I usually watch. But because of my current infatuation with Michael Nesmith, I decided to give it a try and watch it.

The cast is fine. Peter Coyote always makes a great villain. Fred Ward plays a likable hero. There's a couple of other character actors that are decent. On the flip side, Richard Masur is awful. Won't lie about that. And the girl that plays the love interest? Yikes. I definitely liked the soundtrack. I know Nez did it but I think its very fitting all things considered.

The thing about this movie is that it's kind of ridiculous. Not in a bad way though. It really is quite funny at times. Let's face it. Time travel is silly. Even if we could travel back in time, would we act the same as the people in history? Nope. Because language and culture evolve. What is relevant to us in the present is certainly not relevant in the past. And that is what Nesmith and this movie get right. Swann talks and acts like a guy from California circa 1981. The people he meets in the past act accordingly to their timeline. Sort of. The female lead is certainly too modern in her dress and at times actions.

Anyway, I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that Swann doesn't even realize he's in the past until the very end. It isn't a thought that crosses his mind during the entire movie. That is refreshing. Any other movie and within five minutes of time traveling, the hero would smack his head and say, "I must have time traveled! I need to find a newspaper to see what date it is!" I definitely liked that aspect.

Now, favorite bits from the movie:

1. The bad guys trying to figure out how to start the hero's motorbike is gold.
2. Swann telling the people who are willing to help him where all his stuff came from made me laugh. 
3. "Where did you get that beautiful map?" "At an Exxon station."
4. Without telling you the ending, I'll just say Peter Coyote's last scene is head shaking funny.

I don't know if I would call this movie great. It was entertaining, sure. Of course, I wasn't expecting it to be great so perhaps my lower expectations ensured a better result. I would still recommend the movie though. It was silly and fun. And also, you really have to suspend belief with any time travel movie and just enjoy it for what it is. I want to leave you with a quote from Nez himself on time travel. This is from his Facebook page a while ago:

There is a certain je ne sais quoi about time travel movies that are loony on the face of it but connect on a level that is almost profound. Not quite, but almost. 

To this, I can only nod my head and add, "Yup." 

Where Have You Been All My Life, Michael Nesmith? or What You Have Seen You Must Believe

When I obsess, I go whole hog. I've done it before with other things. I get this desire to know everything there is to know about my obsession. It becomes a wild and starving animal that I have to tame and feed constantly. I'm sure there are varying degrees to my obsessions but I think that depends on how much I give in to them and let the obsession take over. This is not always a good thing. There have been several occasions where my thought progression was negative and turned inwards on myself. That is, of course, a story for another day though.

Right now, this obsession is Michael Nesmith. You know, this guy. From The Monkees.

Up until about two months ago, I could have cared less about him. I knew who he was, of course, but had never experienced his music nor seen him outside of anything save The Monkees and even that I will confess to not paying that much attention. My family didn't have cable when I was a kid and I didn't see the show on MTV like so many others in my age range. I think I saw my first episode around Christmas of last year when I gave my husband the TV show dvd's as a gift. He has been a fan for a long time. When they announced their tour there was no question that we would be going. I bought three tickets to the show: one for my husband as a birthday present, one for my friend Em, who has had a rough year and needed a pick me up, and one for me because it sounded like fun.

We made it to the venue an hour before the doors opened. The tour buses were there and people milled about by the fence blocking it. None of us were particularly interested in hanging out waiting for a glimpse of celebrity. Honestly, what would be the point, we asked each other? None of us wanted an autograph and the chances of seeing anyone come out of those buses was slim. Besides, it was hot and sticky and we all wanted something to drink. We went to a restaurant that also had a bar; had a drink and chatted about the work day (Em's had been particularly grueling) before heading back to get in line. Once inside, we stood in line to get our merchandise. Unfortunately, the line was nonexistent and we had to just edge our way to the front. My husband said afterwards that he was under so much pressure to just make it to the front he forgot everything we had decided on buying ahead of time. This meant that the one thing I wanted, those blasted pins with their faces on it, was forgotten. Oh well, c'est la vie right?

We go to our seats; we're on the aisle in the balcony on Mike Nesmith's side of the stage. My husband is thrilled. Em has to sit next to some guy who is taping the whole thing. I didn't realize until after the concert how much this impeded her enjoyment. You can see his videos on YouTube for what its worth. Anyway, we had a decent view of the stage. The only problem turned out to be that because of the angle if someone stood in the next section, we wouldn't be able to see a thing. We completely missed the first song altogether because of this. A lady behind us went over and said something. All was well until the encore but we were on our feet then too.

I don't really want to go song by song because I can't. There's too much distance between the concert and the writing of this. But after the jump I'll tell you some random thoughts I had before I get to the whole point of this blog entry/concert review. And also, pardon any bad language but sometimes a cuss word is the best descriptor even if it is crass.

My Lifelong Love: General Hospital, Part 1*

Anyone who knows me knows this simple fact. I love General Hospital. I have loved this show for a long time. My mother watched it in the 70's and I have watched it ever since. Admittedly, I have broken up with General Hospital (GH) many many times but I always come back. My first memory of GH was Heather Webber giving birth to Steven Lars. Just that scene. Whenever I tell someone how long I've watched GH, I reference that scene.

I watched GH during the Luke and Laura years and then during the years following their departure from the show. Mostly because of Robert Scorpio and Tristan Rogers. I adore Robert Scorpio. He is the ultimate spy. More than that, you knew that when Robert was on the case, he would solve whatever mystery thrown at him. I came home after school everyday in the 80's and watched GH. Sometime after I graduated from high school, I lost interest. Fortunately for me, I missed some of the bad years. Casey the Alien? Missed it completely thank God. That was my first break up with GH but it wasn't on purpose. It was simply because there were other things going on in my life at the time.

I came back sometime in the early 90's. Probably because Robert Scorpio was back in town. And I would follow him anywhere. I definitely got sucked back into it and watched it through most of the 90's. There was much to love in that decade. My personal favorites included the Sonny/Brenda/Jax triangle, Lucky and Elizabeth, Robin and Stone, Robin and Jason, Sonny and original recipe Carly, Nikolas Cassidine, Ned and Lois... I could go on but I won't. Just know that I loved the 90's.

The 2000's were rough for me. I loved Jason so much that when he left, I left. I couldn't even tell you what happened during that time. But when Steve Burton came back to GH, I came back. And from the moment he came back and laid eyes on Elizabeth, I was hooked again. In retrospect, I was more excited about the Jason and Elizabeth pairing than I was about Jason. And that, my friends, is no way to watch a soap. I spent those years alternating between love and hate for GH. Sadly, it was mostly hate because my couple wasn't together. That was a tough lesson to learn. I couldn't enjoy the show because I wanted these two characters together and that was it. Then when they were together, I couldn't enjoy it because I was constantly worried they would be torn apart.

There was another reason I hated GH. Suddenly, it became about three characters. Sonny, Carly, and Jason. It didn't matter who else was on the show, if you weren't peripherally involved with one of those three, you had ZERO story. And that sucked. There was no balance; it was all Sonny/Carly/Jason all the time. Not all of it was bad, I was just tired of everything revolving around them. The last straw for me was a story line about a kid being kidnapped. I could see it all playing out the minute that kid was kidnapped and I wasn't waiting for it to play out. I stopped watching cold turkey. Took it off my DVR and deleted my bookmarks to a couple of GH forums. I wasn't going to watch another woman be told she was a whore or a child being hurt for no good reason. That head writer during those years, drove me away. I'd had enough of his stories and his misogyny to last a lifetime.

But as I have always done, I came back. Why did I come back? Because they were killing off Robin Scorpio, a character I have known for most of my life. I had to come back. (It helps that Hated Head Writer had been fired the previous year.) I came back in February 2012 and have watched every episode since. I love my show again. Thanks to the current writing staff, it looks like the GH I loved is back. Sadly, Steve Burton and Jason Morgan are gone but it turns out that I don't miss him as much as I thought I would.

All the old faces and some of the new ones have hooked me. My favorite character of the last fifteen years or so is Elizabeth and she's in the middle of a triangle with Nikolas and AJ, two of my favorite characters from the 90's. Anna Devane is back and so is her love Duke Lavery. Felicia finally chose Mac. Lucy and Kevin are back and still sweet and funny. Felix is hilarious. Britt is evil. Michael is honorable. Carly is still a fun train wreck and Sonny is still losing at love. It feels good to be back.

*I don't think I'm done with General Hospital. Next time, I post I plan on talking about specific story lines and characters. I can't stop thinking about it.

That Movie. You Know the One.

It's the movie, that no matter what you're doing if it's on, you watch it. Flipping channels and come across the movie five minutes from the end? You still watch it. Half way through? Might as well watch the rest, right? And if you come in at the very opening? Score.

I'm positive everyone has one of these movies and I am about to share mine. Its While You Were Sleeping, starring the ever wonderful Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. I shouldn't love this movie as much as I do. I don't care for Bill Pullman much and I don't do romantic comedy very often. But this movie, to me, is as close to perfect as a romantic comedy can get. Read on as I explain!

First of all, the lead character is sympathetic, likable, attractive and funny. This was Sandra Bullock's first movie post Speed with Keanu Reeves and she more than carries it. Her character, Lucy, is alone in the world after her father passes away. She has a terrible job and is lonely (two things I could absolutely identify with back when this movie came out.) She's got a crush on someone who is completely unattainable and no other prospects for romance. I get this girl. Or at least my younger self got her. I identified with her and felt her pain when she says the line, "He didn't want me." God, did I know how that felt!

The second reason this movie works is the chemistry she has with her leading man.   Bill Pullman is a good actor. But he isn't conventionally handsome. I'd call him average. If I met him in real life, I'd probably think, "Huh. There's something about that guy." I couldn't really tell you another movie he was in that I truly liked him. Okay, maybe Independence Day but that movie is pretty terrible. And although I love Newsies, he wasn't good in that at all. Anyway, he and Sandra Bullock have great chemistry. They're completely believable. Together, they make me want them to end up together.

The third reason is the supporting cast. They're all so damned good. Peter Boyle, Peter Gallagher, Micole Mercurio, all great and funny. Its no wonder she fell in love with all of them.

I've seen this movie a million times. Or at least too many times to count. But I always stop and watch no matter where it is in the movie, no matter what else I was about to watch, no matter what time of day. I love it that much.

I Have a Problem and it is Called "Time Travel": The Connie Willis Edition

Back in my bookstore days, there was a girl I knew who was rather a snob about literature. I suggested Outlander by Diana Gabaldon to her thinking that she might enjoy the historical aspect of it. She came back to me a day or so later and told me that Ms. Gabaldon's history was totally wrong and she couldn't make it past the first couple of chapters. Something about cotton in the 40's. Somehow I doubt Diana Gabaldon, a professional researcher, made a factual error about cotton.

At any rate, this girl returned the favor and recommended a book to me. It was called Passage by Connie Willis. I remember asking her why she thought I would like it and she said, "Because of the cover." I kid you not. The Literature Snob judged a book (and me by extension) by its cover! Regardless, I read the book. It was weird and didn't involve time travel. However, it was intriguing enough that I looked into the author and her other books.

The next book I picked up was called The Doomsday Book. This one was about time travel. It was set in the future at Oxford University and in the Middle Ages during the time of The Plague and features an historian named Kivrin and her mentor Professor Dunworthy. It was dramatic, serious, and depressing. But in the end, it made me look for more Connie Willis. The next one I found is my absolute favorite of hers and really what this post is about.

To Say Nothing of the Dog is nothing short of wonderful! This one also featured Professor Dunworthy but added all new historians. Ned Henry has been on a mission looking for something called The Bishop's Bird Stump. He's been sent all over time and England going to jumble sales looking for this item until he gets sent to the Blitz in London. Its here that he starts to feel the effects of so much time traveling. He gets back to Oxford where he is diagnosed with Time Lag and must rest. Meanwhile, another historian by the name of Verity Kindle, has been working in Victorian England and accidentally brings something back to the future that shouldn't have been. This causes all sorts of trouble with history (or so our historians think) and both Ned and Verity work to make it right.

The thing about this story is how funny it is! Its a comedy of errors and a mystery too. I fell in love with this book and have read it about ten times. (I'm feeling like a reread now would be a great idea!) The idea that time can't really be messed with, everything happens for a reason, everything has a consequence, this is why I like time travel stories. You can't change history only be a part of it. I think Connie Willis' stories really get this right. Add to that the amazing detail and the feeling of being both in the modern world and the past and the end result is an engrossing and entertaining story.

Okay, now that I've got all that out of the way, here's my recommendations for Connie Willis' works.

Read:
To Say Nothing of the Dog (even if you read nothing else by her, read this one!)
Black Out & All Clear (was supposed to be one gargantuan novel but her publisher split it up. Read them together. World War 2 awesomeness.)
The Doomsday Book (for background and an introduction to her version of time travel)

If you still want more:
Bellweather (not time travel but interesting story about chaos theory and the origin of fads.)
Lincoln's Dreams (not really a time travel but has some history involved. Good story but the end left me a little cold.)
Firewatch (a collection of short stories and the first time travel story)

Skip:
Passage (let's just say near death experiences and the Titanic. That should be enough to turn you away right?)

**There's a couple of other titles that I haven't read yet since they aren't strictly time travel. But there is a collection of Christmas stories out there and I am almost as weird about Christmas stories (particularly romances) as I am about time travel!

I Have a Problem and it is Called "Time Travel"

I love a good book (sometimes movies) about time travel. I don't know why. It isn't logical and certainly isn't possible. But I will read just about anything that includes time travel. There are some great ones and then there are some serious stinkers. These are just the ones I love. I'm going to write up posts about my favorites because the more people who read these wonderful books and writers the better. The first book is Outlander by Diana Gabaldon.

Once upon a time, I worked in a bookstore. Every time I would shelve in romance, I would have to restock this book. I could not for the life of me figure out why it was flying off the shelf. One day, out of curiosity, I looked at the book and thought the blurb sounded intriguing. I had no idea what I was in for. I finished it in three days (its humongous.) I read the next one and the next one after that. I couldn't love a book more than I love this one. Also, I had no trouble convincing others how wonderful the books were such was my love for it.

Outlander begins just after World War Two in Scotland. Claire and Frank Randall are taking a much needed second honeymoon when Claire, a former army nurse, disappears. In actuality, Claire has stepped through a cleft in some standing stones and gone back in time to 1746. There, she is assaulted by her husband's ancestor, Black Jack Randall, and rescued by members of the Clan MacKenzie. Thinking she must be a British spy, they spirit her away to the MacKenzie land. It is there that she befriends a young man named Jamie who is unlike the others. They form an unlikely friendship that takes them down a path of political, historical, and family intrigue.

That's all I'm willing to share about the plot. Let's just say there is much romance, political intrigue, and action to keep you interested from the get go. It also helps that Claire and Jamie are two very real characters with motivation that is usually lacking in other romance characters. The other thing about this book is that I refer to it as a romance but it is so much more than that. It's historical and sci-fi. It's romance and suspense novel. It is purely wonderful.

Outlander is the first in the series. There are, I think, seven so far in the series with an eighth coming in 2013. Some are better than others. I happen to think the odd numbered books are the better ones, but that's just me. It is definitely a commitment to read one of Ms. Gabaldon's books but I am so very glad that I did!

Grimm Way of Life

So. I have been obsessed lately. With what you may ask? With my current weight loss/healthy lifestyle change? Nope. Work? Family? Money? Nope. I'm obsessed with a TV show. Grimm to be exact.

If you haven't seen Grimm, it is an NBC show that currently airs on Monday nights though it is about to switch back to its regular Friday night time slot. The show is centered around a Portland police detective who discovered in the pilot episode that he is a grimm. That essentially means he can see people for who they are, i.e. the big bad wolf, the three little pigs, Goldilocks and the Three Bears. It's his job to go after the bad ones. He's got a partner at work, Hank, and a partner in the creature world, Monroe. Also along for the ride is an unknowing girlfriend and a mysterious boss.

Season Two began 3 weeks ago and it has been fantastic. I cannot get enough of it. I've followed the tags on Tumblr and followed the actors in the show on Twitter. I'm a Twitter newbie and still think of it as sanctioned celebrity stalking but I can't help myself! Some of the fangurls on Twitter are dangerously desperate for attention but that is a whole other post!

I'm not planning on turning this into a Grimm blog (not that it is much of any kind of blog) but don't be surprised with the Grimm posts working their way into it.

Homemade Coffee Creamer: The Results

All right. I've had my very short and not very restful 6 hours of sleep. I am showered and at the desk with coffee in front of me. The husband says the creamer was good but lets give it a try shall we?

Definitely an improvement! It has less of a condensed milk taste but its still off to me. Of course, I've been dealing with ingredients that I can't pronounce for years. For now, we'll call it a success but I may try this again with another recipe.

Homemade Coffee Creamer

I am out of coffee creamer and out of grocery money. What's a coffee creamer addict to do? Make it at home, of course.

I've done this before with limited success. There are recipes all over the internet for it but I've yet to find one that didn't make my coffee taste way too sweet or not sweet enough. Well, tonight I may have found the answer.

The basic recipe is this:
1 14oz can of sweetened condensed milk
1 3/4 cups 2% milk
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Mix all three together with a whisk and store in fridge for up to 10 days.

Here's the important step that is missing: Heat on the stove on low heat until all flavors combine. Don't let it boil, instead turn it off when steam just starts to rise out of the pan. Let cool for 10 minutes or so and then refrigerate.

I guess tomorrow I'll let you know how that goes.

This Writing Thing

When I was 9 years old (the same age as my daughter is now), I had to do a report on what I wanted to be as an adult. My report was about being an architect. It's what I wanted to do then. I don't know how or why I settled on that, but I had a love of buildings. They were amazing and you never knew what went on inside one of them. I used to sketch floor plans of sprawling and impossible homes and then populate them with an imaginary family.

In the ninth grade, we had career day. You went to the guidance counselor and told them what you were interested in doing as a career. In return, they gave you a print out of the kind of classes you would need to take for the rest of high school and then what your college courses would likely end up being. Back then, in 1986, there was a helluva lot of math involved in becoming an architect. Did I mention that I am not good at math? 

About this time, I discovered that while my math skills completely sucked my writing skills were pretty good. And even better, I enjoyed writing! Ever since then, it has been my dream to be a writer. But as I have said before, I have no follow through at all. I've been published once (a short story in a college journal.) But I have never finished anything.

Perhaps its time to get cracking.

Thinking About Writing

I'm thinking about writing again. I think about it all the time. I make up stories in my head practically every day. I know characters for these stories intimately. So why don't I put pen to paper (or hands to keyboard as it were) and give them life? I don't have an answer for that. Maybe I get bored easily. Maybe I'm too critical of myself. Maybe I don't have the time.

Hm. Of those three maybes, I think being critical of myself is probably the main reason. But getting bored easily is also a big one for me. I'll come up with something I think is a good idea and think about it some more until I find the flaw in the plot. By then, I'm done. No need to go on. NaNoWriMo is not my friend for this very reason.

How in the world can I get past this? If anyone reads this and has any ideas, let me know.

I Don't Get it

So here's the thing: I work in retail. I have for my entire adult life. I actually enjoy it. Really. Obviously, there have been times when I have hated retail but that was mostly during my previous job. Let's be honest on that one, it was rarely the customers or the job that got me down, it was the corporate offices and the management of the store that made me miserable. I have a job now that I enjoy and the company is great as is the manager. But what I don't get is why people think its okay to walk into a store and be an asshole.

I can count on one hand how many times I've had to be a bitch in a retail moment. Once, the girl at McDonald's couldn't get my debit card to work and told me it was declined for insufficient funds. That one worried me for a moment until she tried a second card and had the same results. I not so very nicely told her it wasn't the cards that were insufficient it was her. Another time, I bought a book at a store that was going out of business. I very nicely asked the cashier not to put a mark on one item out of the three because I was giving it to my husband. She wasn't very nice in her response which was something to the effect of, "I have to, dumbass. Do you want it or not?" (Dumbass was obviously implied in tone and not actually said aloud.) I replied that I did and paid for it. When she was finished putting a black line through the UPC, I stepped to the side, licked my thumb and wiped the offending black mark off in her face.

I'm sure the people watching me thought I was the bitch in the situation. And maybe my attitude was uncalled for but I have been on the receiving end of good customers and bad customers for long enough to know when a request of mine is out of line. Here's the thing, when you go out in public treat the people who are there to help you with a little common courtesy.  We don't have to be best friends but at least say please and thank you and keep that comment you think is going to cut me to the quick to yourself. I don't make policy, I don't set prices, and I am not the help. I don't care what happened to you before you came into my store. All I know is that I didn't do it.

There's no solution obviously. People will be assholes for any reason they choose. Its life. As long as I work in retail, I will have to deal with it. Some days I may be able to laugh it off and others days it'll make my blood boil. I could wish that everyone would have to work retail for a year of their life. Maybe then, they might have an understanding of the pure shit retail staff have to go through. (A Christmas season and slow down would have to be mandatory to understand the crush of the holidays and the fight for hours just to have some money.) Maybe if everyone did that, there would be less jerks but I doubt it. People will still be assholes if it suits them. But still, I just don't get it.

Daylight Savings is kicking my ass.

This isn't going to be a long post. Nor is it going to be a history lesson about daylight savings. I could care less about why they started doing it. What I care about is the fact that I have to suffer through it in the spring. I just can't get used to it. My internal clock won't reset this year and I find myself surfing the internet at midnight knowing full well I have to be awake at 6am. Dinner has moved from between 6:30 to 7:30pm and that messes with bedtimes for kids. I've been tired all week and eaten too late. I feel terrible. Going to bed early would solve my problem but I know I will just lay there thinking about how I am not tired. So, just like the blog post says, Daylight Savings is truly kicking my ass.

Pride and Embarrassment

All right. I confess. I used to write a soap opera. Okay, I've written three in total. The first one I wrote in junior high. I started it because my sister was doing it and she wouldn't let me read hers. The second I wrote in high school and was called "Where There's a Will." I loved that one. I still have it somewhere in my garage after all these years in the same blue binder I used for catechism. The most recent one was called "Secret Horizons" and was written about 2001. I loved that thing. I wrote on it every day for nearly two years. But life happened and I stopped writing it.

I mention this because the whole soap opera writing thing came up in conversation with a co-worker today. At lunch, I found its binder and returned to work with it, laying it on the co-worker's desk. I am immensely proud and ashamed of it at the same time. It is a big binder, one of those huge ones, and it is full. There were at least 125 "episodes" with four to five scenes apiece. Printed out, each episode was approximately five pages long single spaced. That makes my soap opera at least 625 pages long!

I am so proud of the work and dedication I put into it but I am so embarrassed by the genre. Its a soap opera! Its not even a cool genre. Its all over the top melodrama and evil twins. I've promised my co-worker she can read it but I'm having second thoughts. Letting people who don't know me read it is one thing but someone I know? How mortifying. And yet, maybe letting her read it will push me into rewriting it into something a little less corny. Or, I'll conveniently forget I promised and thus avoid any painful embarrassment.

Regardless, I loved writing it and still think about some of the main characters to this day. and for the record, there were no evil twins.

Why am I doing this?

That is a very good question and one that doesn't have an easy answer for me. As a child, I generally had a diary or notebook for writing. When I graduated from high school and found myself fairly alone and going through a rough time in college, I started journaling. I stopped writing my every inner thought and paranoia when I married. It seemed childish somehow. While cleaning my garage recently, I rediscovered those journals. My first and only thought about them was that I needed to get rid of them. There were two reasons. One, they were damaged by a long ago flood of our garage and covered in mold. Two, they were downright embarrassing!

 

After looking through one or two, I discovered that my 22 year old self was a whiner who was waiting for something to happen. The predominant thing I was waiting for? Love. I wanted to love someone and be loved in return. Well, I found it and fortunately still have it. I count myself lucky that I have my family. They drive me nuts at times, but don't all families?

 

So here it is, some 15ish years later and the Internet has taken over our world. It's possible to journal and put your thoughts into the world for others to read. Which begs the question, why would you do that? I don't have an answer for that. I think, for me, I just want to express an opinion occasionally. I don't care if anyone reads it (or maybe I do and that's why this blog is happening.) More than anything, I want to write again and I don't want to be embarrassed by what I've written. I'm older and less whiny. Also, some of what I say might be worth reading to someone, like my daughters in a couple of years.

 

Not an easy answer or a very good one, but there it is. And those old journals? In the landfill and gone forever thank goodness.

and death i think is no parenthesis

ee cummings