I Have a Problem and it is Called "Time Travel": The Connie Willis Edition

Back in my bookstore days, there was a girl I knew who was rather a snob about literature. I suggested Outlander by Diana Gabaldon to her thinking that she might enjoy the historical aspect of it. She came back to me a day or so later and told me that Ms. Gabaldon's history was totally wrong and she couldn't make it past the first couple of chapters. Something about cotton in the 40's. Somehow I doubt Diana Gabaldon, a professional researcher, made a factual error about cotton.

At any rate, this girl returned the favor and recommended a book to me. It was called Passage by Connie Willis. I remember asking her why she thought I would like it and she said, "Because of the cover." I kid you not. The Literature Snob judged a book (and me by extension) by its cover! Regardless, I read the book. It was weird and didn't involve time travel. However, it was intriguing enough that I looked into the author and her other books.

The next book I picked up was called The Doomsday Book. This one was about time travel. It was set in the future at Oxford University and in the Middle Ages during the time of The Plague and features an historian named Kivrin and her mentor Professor Dunworthy. It was dramatic, serious, and depressing. But in the end, it made me look for more Connie Willis. The next one I found is my absolute favorite of hers and really what this post is about.

To Say Nothing of the Dog is nothing short of wonderful! This one also featured Professor Dunworthy but added all new historians. Ned Henry has been on a mission looking for something called The Bishop's Bird Stump. He's been sent all over time and England going to jumble sales looking for this item until he gets sent to the Blitz in London. Its here that he starts to feel the effects of so much time traveling. He gets back to Oxford where he is diagnosed with Time Lag and must rest. Meanwhile, another historian by the name of Verity Kindle, has been working in Victorian England and accidentally brings something back to the future that shouldn't have been. This causes all sorts of trouble with history (or so our historians think) and both Ned and Verity work to make it right.

The thing about this story is how funny it is! Its a comedy of errors and a mystery too. I fell in love with this book and have read it about ten times. (I'm feeling like a reread now would be a great idea!) The idea that time can't really be messed with, everything happens for a reason, everything has a consequence, this is why I like time travel stories. You can't change history only be a part of it. I think Connie Willis' stories really get this right. Add to that the amazing detail and the feeling of being both in the modern world and the past and the end result is an engrossing and entertaining story.

Okay, now that I've got all that out of the way, here's my recommendations for Connie Willis' works.

Read:
To Say Nothing of the Dog (even if you read nothing else by her, read this one!)
Black Out & All Clear (was supposed to be one gargantuan novel but her publisher split it up. Read them together. World War 2 awesomeness.)
The Doomsday Book (for background and an introduction to her version of time travel)

If you still want more:
Bellweather (not time travel but interesting story about chaos theory and the origin of fads.)
Lincoln's Dreams (not really a time travel but has some history involved. Good story but the end left me a little cold.)
Firewatch (a collection of short stories and the first time travel story)

Skip:
Passage (let's just say near death experiences and the Titanic. That should be enough to turn you away right?)

**There's a couple of other titles that I haven't read yet since they aren't strictly time travel. But there is a collection of Christmas stories out there and I am almost as weird about Christmas stories (particularly romances) as I am about time travel!

I Have a Problem and it is Called "Time Travel"

I love a good book (sometimes movies) about time travel. I don't know why. It isn't logical and certainly isn't possible. But I will read just about anything that includes time travel. There are some great ones and then there are some serious stinkers. These are just the ones I love. I'm going to write up posts about my favorites because the more people who read these wonderful books and writers the better. The first book is Outlander by Diana Gabaldon.

Once upon a time, I worked in a bookstore. Every time I would shelve in romance, I would have to restock this book. I could not for the life of me figure out why it was flying off the shelf. One day, out of curiosity, I looked at the book and thought the blurb sounded intriguing. I had no idea what I was in for. I finished it in three days (its humongous.) I read the next one and the next one after that. I couldn't love a book more than I love this one. Also, I had no trouble convincing others how wonderful the books were such was my love for it.

Outlander begins just after World War Two in Scotland. Claire and Frank Randall are taking a much needed second honeymoon when Claire, a former army nurse, disappears. In actuality, Claire has stepped through a cleft in some standing stones and gone back in time to 1746. There, she is assaulted by her husband's ancestor, Black Jack Randall, and rescued by members of the Clan MacKenzie. Thinking she must be a British spy, they spirit her away to the MacKenzie land. It is there that she befriends a young man named Jamie who is unlike the others. They form an unlikely friendship that takes them down a path of political, historical, and family intrigue.

That's all I'm willing to share about the plot. Let's just say there is much romance, political intrigue, and action to keep you interested from the get go. It also helps that Claire and Jamie are two very real characters with motivation that is usually lacking in other romance characters. The other thing about this book is that I refer to it as a romance but it is so much more than that. It's historical and sci-fi. It's romance and suspense novel. It is purely wonderful.

Outlander is the first in the series. There are, I think, seven so far in the series with an eighth coming in 2013. Some are better than others. I happen to think the odd numbered books are the better ones, but that's just me. It is definitely a commitment to read one of Ms. Gabaldon's books but I am so very glad that I did!

Grimm Way of Life

So. I have been obsessed lately. With what you may ask? With my current weight loss/healthy lifestyle change? Nope. Work? Family? Money? Nope. I'm obsessed with a TV show. Grimm to be exact.

If you haven't seen Grimm, it is an NBC show that currently airs on Monday nights though it is about to switch back to its regular Friday night time slot. The show is centered around a Portland police detective who discovered in the pilot episode that he is a grimm. That essentially means he can see people for who they are, i.e. the big bad wolf, the three little pigs, Goldilocks and the Three Bears. It's his job to go after the bad ones. He's got a partner at work, Hank, and a partner in the creature world, Monroe. Also along for the ride is an unknowing girlfriend and a mysterious boss.

Season Two began 3 weeks ago and it has been fantastic. I cannot get enough of it. I've followed the tags on Tumblr and followed the actors in the show on Twitter. I'm a Twitter newbie and still think of it as sanctioned celebrity stalking but I can't help myself! Some of the fangurls on Twitter are dangerously desperate for attention but that is a whole other post!

I'm not planning on turning this into a Grimm blog (not that it is much of any kind of blog) but don't be surprised with the Grimm posts working their way into it.

Homemade Coffee Creamer: The Results

All right. I've had my very short and not very restful 6 hours of sleep. I am showered and at the desk with coffee in front of me. The husband says the creamer was good but lets give it a try shall we?

Definitely an improvement! It has less of a condensed milk taste but its still off to me. Of course, I've been dealing with ingredients that I can't pronounce for years. For now, we'll call it a success but I may try this again with another recipe.

Homemade Coffee Creamer

I am out of coffee creamer and out of grocery money. What's a coffee creamer addict to do? Make it at home, of course.

I've done this before with limited success. There are recipes all over the internet for it but I've yet to find one that didn't make my coffee taste way too sweet or not sweet enough. Well, tonight I may have found the answer.

The basic recipe is this:
1 14oz can of sweetened condensed milk
1 3/4 cups 2% milk
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Mix all three together with a whisk and store in fridge for up to 10 days.

Here's the important step that is missing: Heat on the stove on low heat until all flavors combine. Don't let it boil, instead turn it off when steam just starts to rise out of the pan. Let cool for 10 minutes or so and then refrigerate.

I guess tomorrow I'll let you know how that goes.

This Writing Thing

When I was 9 years old (the same age as my daughter is now), I had to do a report on what I wanted to be as an adult. My report was about being an architect. It's what I wanted to do then. I don't know how or why I settled on that, but I had a love of buildings. They were amazing and you never knew what went on inside one of them. I used to sketch floor plans of sprawling and impossible homes and then populate them with an imaginary family.

In the ninth grade, we had career day. You went to the guidance counselor and told them what you were interested in doing as a career. In return, they gave you a print out of the kind of classes you would need to take for the rest of high school and then what your college courses would likely end up being. Back then, in 1986, there was a helluva lot of math involved in becoming an architect. Did I mention that I am not good at math? 

About this time, I discovered that while my math skills completely sucked my writing skills were pretty good. And even better, I enjoyed writing! Ever since then, it has been my dream to be a writer. But as I have said before, I have no follow through at all. I've been published once (a short story in a college journal.) But I have never finished anything.

Perhaps its time to get cracking.

Thinking About Writing

I'm thinking about writing again. I think about it all the time. I make up stories in my head practically every day. I know characters for these stories intimately. So why don't I put pen to paper (or hands to keyboard as it were) and give them life? I don't have an answer for that. Maybe I get bored easily. Maybe I'm too critical of myself. Maybe I don't have the time.

Hm. Of those three maybes, I think being critical of myself is probably the main reason. But getting bored easily is also a big one for me. I'll come up with something I think is a good idea and think about it some more until I find the flaw in the plot. By then, I'm done. No need to go on. NaNoWriMo is not my friend for this very reason.

How in the world can I get past this? If anyone reads this and has any ideas, let me know.

I Don't Get it

So here's the thing: I work in retail. I have for my entire adult life. I actually enjoy it. Really. Obviously, there have been times when I have hated retail but that was mostly during my previous job. Let's be honest on that one, it was rarely the customers or the job that got me down, it was the corporate offices and the management of the store that made me miserable. I have a job now that I enjoy and the company is great as is the manager. But what I don't get is why people think its okay to walk into a store and be an asshole.

I can count on one hand how many times I've had to be a bitch in a retail moment. Once, the girl at McDonald's couldn't get my debit card to work and told me it was declined for insufficient funds. That one worried me for a moment until she tried a second card and had the same results. I not so very nicely told her it wasn't the cards that were insufficient it was her. Another time, I bought a book at a store that was going out of business. I very nicely asked the cashier not to put a mark on one item out of the three because I was giving it to my husband. She wasn't very nice in her response which was something to the effect of, "I have to, dumbass. Do you want it or not?" (Dumbass was obviously implied in tone and not actually said aloud.) I replied that I did and paid for it. When she was finished putting a black line through the UPC, I stepped to the side, licked my thumb and wiped the offending black mark off in her face.

I'm sure the people watching me thought I was the bitch in the situation. And maybe my attitude was uncalled for but I have been on the receiving end of good customers and bad customers for long enough to know when a request of mine is out of line. Here's the thing, when you go out in public treat the people who are there to help you with a little common courtesy.  We don't have to be best friends but at least say please and thank you and keep that comment you think is going to cut me to the quick to yourself. I don't make policy, I don't set prices, and I am not the help. I don't care what happened to you before you came into my store. All I know is that I didn't do it.

There's no solution obviously. People will be assholes for any reason they choose. Its life. As long as I work in retail, I will have to deal with it. Some days I may be able to laugh it off and others days it'll make my blood boil. I could wish that everyone would have to work retail for a year of their life. Maybe then, they might have an understanding of the pure shit retail staff have to go through. (A Christmas season and slow down would have to be mandatory to understand the crush of the holidays and the fight for hours just to have some money.) Maybe if everyone did that, there would be less jerks but I doubt it. People will still be assholes if it suits them. But still, I just don't get it.

Daylight Savings is kicking my ass.

This isn't going to be a long post. Nor is it going to be a history lesson about daylight savings. I could care less about why they started doing it. What I care about is the fact that I have to suffer through it in the spring. I just can't get used to it. My internal clock won't reset this year and I find myself surfing the internet at midnight knowing full well I have to be awake at 6am. Dinner has moved from between 6:30 to 7:30pm and that messes with bedtimes for kids. I've been tired all week and eaten too late. I feel terrible. Going to bed early would solve my problem but I know I will just lay there thinking about how I am not tired. So, just like the blog post says, Daylight Savings is truly kicking my ass.

Pride and Embarrassment

All right. I confess. I used to write a soap opera. Okay, I've written three in total. The first one I wrote in junior high. I started it because my sister was doing it and she wouldn't let me read hers. The second I wrote in high school and was called "Where There's a Will." I loved that one. I still have it somewhere in my garage after all these years in the same blue binder I used for catechism. The most recent one was called "Secret Horizons" and was written about 2001. I loved that thing. I wrote on it every day for nearly two years. But life happened and I stopped writing it.

I mention this because the whole soap opera writing thing came up in conversation with a co-worker today. At lunch, I found its binder and returned to work with it, laying it on the co-worker's desk. I am immensely proud and ashamed of it at the same time. It is a big binder, one of those huge ones, and it is full. There were at least 125 "episodes" with four to five scenes apiece. Printed out, each episode was approximately five pages long single spaced. That makes my soap opera at least 625 pages long!

I am so proud of the work and dedication I put into it but I am so embarrassed by the genre. Its a soap opera! Its not even a cool genre. Its all over the top melodrama and evil twins. I've promised my co-worker she can read it but I'm having second thoughts. Letting people who don't know me read it is one thing but someone I know? How mortifying. And yet, maybe letting her read it will push me into rewriting it into something a little less corny. Or, I'll conveniently forget I promised and thus avoid any painful embarrassment.

Regardless, I loved writing it and still think about some of the main characters to this day. and for the record, there were no evil twins.

Why am I doing this?

That is a very good question and one that doesn't have an easy answer for me. As a child, I generally had a diary or notebook for writing. When I graduated from high school and found myself fairly alone and going through a rough time in college, I started journaling. I stopped writing my every inner thought and paranoia when I married. It seemed childish somehow. While cleaning my garage recently, I rediscovered those journals. My first and only thought about them was that I needed to get rid of them. There were two reasons. One, they were damaged by a long ago flood of our garage and covered in mold. Two, they were downright embarrassing!

 

After looking through one or two, I discovered that my 22 year old self was a whiner who was waiting for something to happen. The predominant thing I was waiting for? Love. I wanted to love someone and be loved in return. Well, I found it and fortunately still have it. I count myself lucky that I have my family. They drive me nuts at times, but don't all families?

 

So here it is, some 15ish years later and the Internet has taken over our world. It's possible to journal and put your thoughts into the world for others to read. Which begs the question, why would you do that? I don't have an answer for that. I think, for me, I just want to express an opinion occasionally. I don't care if anyone reads it (or maybe I do and that's why this blog is happening.) More than anything, I want to write again and I don't want to be embarrassed by what I've written. I'm older and less whiny. Also, some of what I say might be worth reading to someone, like my daughters in a couple of years.

 

Not an easy answer or a very good one, but there it is. And those old journals? In the landfill and gone forever thank goodness.

and death i think is no parenthesis

ee cummings